Saturday, August 4, 2007

Douglas Adams and Tea

For those of you who are Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (book or film) fans this passage from Douglas Adams may be of interest to you. It's taken from Adams' The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time and basically suggests that most of us (ahem, Americans...) don't know how to make a good cup of tea. Well, you know, to be honest, at first I was a bit offended, how hard is it boil water and put in a teabag...? But, then I made tea the way Adams recommends, and you know, now I REALLY know how a good cup of tea is supposed to taste. I'm serious! If you spend just a few more minutes making that afternoon cup of tea the way Adams recommends, the tea is INCREDIBLE . Most of the time my tea is light or too dark and the water is either overboiled or underboiled (apparently I'm not good at boiling water), but sometimes I boil the water just right and brew the tea to the perfect time and wow, it is heaven. You can get that feeling everytime when you make tea according to Adams! Really! Try it out and let us know...

Enjoy your tea!

Adams (2002) pgs. 67-69

Tea

One or two Americans have asked me why the English like tea so much, which never seems to them to be a very good drink. To understand, you have to make it properly.
There is a very simple principle to the making of tea, and it's this - to get the proper flavor of tea, the water has to be boilING (not boilED) when it hits the tea leaves. If it's merely hot, then the tea will be insipid. That's why we English have these odd rituals, such as warming the teapot first (so as not to cause the boiling water to cool down too fast as it hits the pot). And that's why the American habit of bringing a teacup, a tea bag, and a pot of hot water to the table is merely the perfect way of making a thin, pale, watery cup of tea that nobody in their right mind would want to drink. The Americans are all mystified about why the English makes such a big thing out of tea because most Americans HAVE NEVER HAD A GOOD CUP OF TEA. That's why they don't understand. In fact, the truth of the matter is that most English people don't know how to make real tea anymore either, and most people drink cheap instant coffee instead, which is a pity, and gives Americans the impression that the English are just generally clueless about hot stimulants.
So the best advice I can give to an American arriving in England is this: Go to Marks and Spencer and buy a packet of Earl Grey tea. Go back to where you're staying and boil a kettle of water. While it is coming to the boil, open the sealed pack and sniff. Careful - you may feel a bit dizzy, but this is in fact perfectly legal. When the kettle has boiled, pour a little of it into a teapot, swirl it around, and tip it out again. Put a couple (or three, depending on the size of the pot) of tea bags into the pot. (If I was really trying to lead you into the paths of rightousness, I would tell you to use free leaves rather than bags, but let's just take this in easy stages). Bring the kettle back up to the boil, and then pour the boiling water as quickly as you can into a cup. Some people will tell you that you shouldn't have milk with Earl Grey, just a slice of lemon. Screw them. I like it with milk. If you think you will like it with milk, then it's probably best to put some milk into the bottom of the cup before you pour in the tea. If you pour milk into a cup of hot tea, you will scald the milk. If you think you will prefer it with a slice of lemon, then, well, add a slice of lemon.
Drink it. After a few moments you will begin to think that the place you've come to isn't maybe quite so strange and crazy after all.